Haven't You Heard?

I wrote this short piece long ago and can’t remember what gave me the idea, I must be getting old.

The funeral I attended yesterday was for an elderly gentleman who was well known in the local community. He had spent the later years of his life, his retirement years, involved with activities in and around the district. He did some charity work and volunteering, things like making tea at the local seniors group, I think he just liked being with the ladies. Always a curious person, wanting to know what was happening in the lives of those around him, he asked questions, lots of questions. He wasn’t a nuisance, people really liked speaking with him, I guess they received as much information as they gave.

He would often start a conversation with something like, “Did you hear about Bess? Her car broke down on the expressway, she got a truck driver to stop by showing a bit of her good leg! Proves you can still have it at 69!” This of course always led into other stories, or as some call it, just plain gossip.

Age hadn’t slowed him at all, it was as though his imagination and storytelling kept him young, at least in spirit. No one seemed to be bothered that he gossiped, if you could call it that, he referred to himself an ISP, not an Internet Service Provider, but Information service provider. He would walk for blocks to hear a firsthand account of anything interesting, and of course ask his questions just like a reporter. Forever on top of the latest news, there was only the one time when he wasn’t the first to know what was going on.

He had moved into his little one bedroom house about three years ago, about the same time he got his hearing aid in fact. It had not taken much persuasion for the doctor to talk him into getting the aid, he didn’t want to miss anything, so instead of just getting one for the ear he had trouble hearing in, he also got one for the totally deaf ear. His theory was that if one is good two must be better. The one thing the aids didn’t change was his way of speaking in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, he said some of these oldies were hard of hearing and he didn’t want anyone to miss the news.

I guess his loud voice and the fact that he did most of the talking didn’t alert him to the need for new batteries that particular day. He went to bed that night sleeping with one aid in as usual, and woke next mid-morning to no sound at all. Not wanting to speak of the incident he wouldn’t say so, but we can assume he didn’t discovered the battery problem before noon. Having replacement batteries in a drawer he put them in and went about his usual activities annoyed at having overslept. Leaving the house after lunch, he noticed a piece of paper on the front lawn, it was a letter, addressed to him, burnt around the edge and soaking wet. Looking up he noticed the mailbox, or rather where the box had been, it was gone, only a broken wooden post was left. A neighbour walked by, stopped and said to him, “Good day Joe, what a day! Didn’t see you out here earlier, been gone all morning?”

Some initial discussion led to the explanation, he shook his head not believing he had missed the biggest news ever in this street, and maybe the whole town. Ben the postman had nearly died. That morning during the thunderstorm that had passed through, the postman had been placing mail in the box outside Joes house when a bolt of lightning had struck. It hit near the box, knocking the postman off his feet and blasting the box into pieces. The ambulance, police, and fire brigade had all arrived and spent some time there, the postman was taken to the hospital, shaken up but in good spirits. Joes place had been a busy center of activity for a couple of hours, and he had not known a thing.


It took a week or so for the talk around town to drift to subjects other than “The lightning strike at Joes”, a subject he wouldn’t talk about much in spite of it happening in his front yard. What hurt Joe though, was not missing the action, it was when people started referring to him, with a smile, as “Last to know Joe”. He did take some pride in the incident though, at least he got a mention, that’s almost as good as a “By” line....

JAWhite
April 2011                                                         Return to main page  
               

The name Joe in this instance and circumstance are fictitious, but I did know one man....